>I am very ready for the holidays to end.
Yesterday I got home from work at 6:45 and immediately went to the kitchen to start making mini loaves of banana-cranberry bread for my bosses gift baskets. I found these adorable ceramic loaf pans with angels and snowflakes on them at Michael’s for a dollar-I couldn’t say no! As soon as I popped those in the oven, I whipped up a batch of peanut butter chocolate chip oatmeal cookies (that is a MOUTH FULL). I based my recipe off the gigantoid PB oatmeal cookies; but mine were tiny. And I must say, Trader Joe’s comes through again, because the chocolate chips in these cookies stayed MELTY-the way I thought only milk chocolate chips could. I am impressed with the cookies and I had a hard time not eating them-but noooooooo, those were also for the gift basket.
I went and go spa gift certificats yesterday. I’m really great at giving presents, but only when I’ve had time to gather information and make a good decision-getting these two gifts was kind of thrust upon me, so I hope what I did doesn’t look cheap/crappy. I was given $212 that was collected to get said gifts, so I guess the homemade touches weren’t necessary-but I honestly spent most of the money on spa services and I wanted to baskets to look full and festive. I want to bust in to one of these two tins of cookies.
Speaking of sweets; my office (and my friends) are definitely conspiring to make sure that I am constantly on some kind of sugar high. That’s what it feels like anyways. Yesterday there were cookies, banana pudding, and more cookies. Today it’s chex mix, fudge, cinnamon rolls, more cookies, french toast and christmas candy. I can say no to quite a lot of this; but a few people here have figured out how to make things I can eat so then i can’t say no-because it’s rare that someone at this office is that considerate.
I’m rambling. I’ve got all my gifts wrapped-I could only afford to buy things for my (15) immediate family members plus three of my closest friends-Sloane, Clark and Sam. Other than that- I have $58 to my name until I get paid again. AWESOME. I feel crappy about not being able to get Wes’ mom, dad, stepmom and brother something-especially his brother, because he’s done so much for us this year-but i literally cannot afford it. Wes is so unprepared, and so indifferent. He shrugs his shoulders and says they understand-and I’m like what-they understand that you aren’t working…as usual around this time of year? I know it sounds bitter to say but it really does seem like around October/November ish every year he doesn’t have a job. sigh. He has three interviews today and one should result in a job. We need this because I’m at the breaking point-he hasn’t had a full time job in months and paying the bills alone is stressing me out. If you know me-you know I do not want children because I can’t have someone financially or otherwise dependent on me. I can’t handle that kind of stress-I need my freedom. And our situation is starting to feel like i might as well have a kid financially speaking. It makes me resentful and that’s not healthy. So I’ve addressed my concerns and we’ll see where things go. I have no aspirations to be rich or super successful; but I do need to know that I can pay the bills and that if something major happens I have it covered.